I grew up always feeling a little bit different. There was more to the story that people just weren't telling me. I didn't know what it was exactly. I was a kid, and navigating this complex world was already pretty tough. My family went to church by association of my Mother and Grandmother, who were religious. At first, I loved it! I got to sing, learn about this higher power, and everything in the church had a really interesting smell (like old, musty wood). As I grew older and understood a little bit more about what was being said, things started feeling a little off. It felt like the information being handed to me was really only halfway correct. In my gut, I knew that I was being misled.
"In my gut, I knew that I was being misled."
I didn't know there were other options at the time, so I chose to simply not believe in God, or religion, at all. In my heart, I knew there was more but I just couldn't put my finger on it...
Fast forward into high school, I discovered in my home town there was a ghost hunters society. I thought, "Wow! Could there really be others that believe in the same things I do??" Before then, I honestly thought I was alone in my beliefs. I quickly became good friends of the founders, and knew that I could trust them to lead me in the right direction to get the information I wanted to know. I attended all their meetings and even took their course to become a certified Ghost Hunter! The only hitch, I wasn't quite 18 yet and they wouldn't let me go on tours with them. By the time I turned 18, the group was disbanded due to the founders' health and that was it. My avenue to express my spirituality was gone as I knew it. As a teenager, life got away from me pretty quick and soon enough it got pushed to the back of my mind.
In my adult years, I noticed several signs that told me I needed to get back into my spirituality, but I honestly thought it wasn't a big deal. I didn't think that my future would be so intertwined with spirit. I also didn't realize just how important spirit was to my everyday health. While I maintained my physical health fairly well, my mental health was suffering badly. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety in my early teenage years and took medication to control it well into my adult years...until it stopped working and I had already exhausted all the options. More signs started popping up that I needed to get back into my spirituality, and with it more excuses as to why it wasn't important.
It wasn't until I entered my self-destruct mode that I could finally see the importance of my spirituality. It is so integral to who I am, and I was ignoring it! I was having marital problems, fertility issues, and I felt like I didn't know who I was... It was disheartening and lonely. For the first time in my life, I chose to go to therapy. I was really fortunate to find a therapist who also happened to be spiritual. Another sign. In my sessions, she helped me realize that I had to go through the hardships to finally listen. I needed to listen to myself, to my spirit guides, and follow the path meant for me. I needed to re-learn who I was because I was so busy being someone else, I had completely forgotten.
Stay tuned for my next blog post to find out how I managed to navigate my depression and become the spiritual healer I am today...
You can contact me by email at cathyrosehealing@gmail.com or visit my Facebook page www.facebook.com/cathyrosehealing or my website www.cathyrosehealing.wixsite.com/home
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