I was sitting in front of my computer on Friday, blog template open, waiting for the flow to happen as usual when I start to write my blogs. I don't force the topics each week, I channel what is most important for me to learn about at that moment. When I talk about my personal experiences, even that is channeled to some degree, and a lot of healing happens in the process. I was struggling this week to come up with a blog topic, but it had nothing to do with lack of topics or motivation, and everything to do with my own needs that day. When I finally figured out it wasn't going to happen, I knew it was a day for healing, and perhaps Saturday would be more ideal for writing. Saturday came along, and still no 'flow,' however, I was also exhausted (likely due to the previous day's healing) and my daughter came down with a cold. I knew I didn't even have the capacity to write a blog that day. Today is Sunday, and it was only when I finished typing out this entire blog post that I discovered I needed to heal a very specific blockage (detailed below) in order to figure out this week's topic. Blockages. (And here I thought I was just going to write a non-blog post about how I needed to heal this weekend and I would try again next week.)
It is so easy to dismiss the days where we just need to heal. We may not even be aware of what is going on behind the scenes, only that we perceive ourselves to be unproductive, we don't feel ourselves, or we feel exhausted for no apparent reason. Part of the process of evolution is self-awareness. Yes, as humans we are self-aware, however that doesn't really mean that we are always aware of all aspects of our self. The day we accept that there are other things going on beyond our immediate perception, is the day we start realizing how amazing we are for acknowledging and tending to our own needs on a deeper level.
One of the things that I released and healed on Friday was a blockage surrounding the need to feel valued by my peers and be part of a community or team. I don't mean in terms of competition, I have previously released the belief that I needed to compete with other healers, locally or otherwise. Healers in general are all on the same team and work for a common goal - healing the Earth and those that live here. If my clients are drawn to me, it is for my specific set of skills. Those who are drawn to others may require specific skills or experiences that I don't have. Understanding and accepting this is so rewarding! However, another layer of that is feeling value and support by your peers in your community. I had this blockage where I felt I needed a 'seat at the table.' It literally appeared to me as a chair when I did some soul searching. I perceived that I was scrunched at the kids table, alone, watching the adults go about their adult things at their table. This blockage, or belief, caused me to feel resentful at all the 'adults' and their partnerships and interactions. Does this sound ridiculous? That's because it is, but it doesn't mean that my subconscious would believe it any less. The truth is, there is no table, and this blockage is the very thing that was preventing me from feeling valued and supported in my community. Upon releasing that blockage, I was able to speak about it openly with some of the other healers (the 'adults' in the previous scenario) in my spiritual community and got the assurance and sense of value I needed (or wanted) to hear.
"...this blockage is the very thing that was preventing me from feeling valued and supported in my community."
Self-worth doesn't always come easy. It is really important to have self-worth, but when you're stuck in a loop of not feeling like you're doing enough, contributing enough, or getting enough back, it can be really hard to feel worthy of anything. No matter how many times someone tells you that you are enough, you really need to own that for yourself. I wanted to hear that I am valued and part of a community, because it is really nice to hear that sometimes, but the problem really lies in my own self worth. I put myself at the kids table, and that's all there is to it. Breaking this loop has to happen in your own time because the only one that can do that is you.
Blockages can happen from a seemingly innocent comment made when you were little and it stuck with you, to abuse of any severity. Trauma, no matter how seemingly insignificant it may have been, is still trauma and can create a blockage or series of beliefs or patterns that affect your life in ways you may not even realize. When we clear these blockages, we can start to understand the impact it had on us, and we can learn, grow, and move on from it. Sometimes we don't even know or remember how the blockage was created in the first place, but upon identifying it and understanding why it was there, pieces of the puzzle will soon fit into place. It does happen in a session where I clear a number of blockages for a client, but I'm not given any information as to what the blockage is, or why it was there. This can happen for a number of reasons, for instance, a blockage was created from a past life and has no relevance to this lifetime; or perhaps it was in your best interest to not know what it was so you wouldn't dwell on it and re-create that blockage. Either way, once a blockage has been cleared, you may see subtle changes in how you respond to certain situations moving forward that make a big difference to your overall wellbeing.
A blockage doesn't always need a spiritual healer to clear. It is certainly easier, but not totally necessary. Self awareness, self care, intention, and forgiveness can clear a blockage.
Self awareness: When you find resistance or struggle in your life, where it should be easy, that is the time to do some soul searching and find out what is causing you resistance. What is 'blocking' you from doing things without struggle? Listen to your intuition. For example, you may be given an image of a chair, and you will have to decipher what that means to you.
Self care: When you identify the blockage, take steps to ensure that you are supporting yourself. Give yourself the space and time to process the blockage, understand why it is there, and let it go. This process can be emotional and exhausting, so give yourself grace. I find it helps to journal, as writing it out helps put things into perspective. Do what you feel guided to do.
Intention: Go into this with the intent of clearing the blockage fully, to improve your life where you feel resistance. It is easy to fall into old habits, but with intention, you can move forward.
Forgiveness: The healing properties of forgiveness astonish me every day. It is like a laser beam that crumbles any blockage in it's path. A lot of people fear forgiveness, because it makes past wrongs excusable, or makes what happened 'alright.' That is not the case at all! Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. And you do not have to engage or 'make up' with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness is a process of taking back control of your own energy and feelings over the situation that made you feel out of control. In doing so, you are letting go of feelings and thoughts of resentment, bitterness, anger, and vengeance toward someone who you believe has wronged you, including yourself. When you forgive someone, forgive yourself for forgiving those who have wronged you as well.
You do this all the time without realizing, so it isn't anything to fear. The difference being, the major
blockages holding you back need to be done with more awareness, because there is a lot more to process and clear, and requires the intention and energy of forgiveness to clear it. A simple and brief example of a blockage that you may clear easily and without realizing, is bumping into someone at the grocery store. You exchange, "I'm sorry," then you move on. That's it! You encountered an obstacle, (a blockage) you forgave the incident (regardless of who bumped into who), and you went about your shopping, hopefully more aware of your surroundings. Obviously there are a wide variety of incidents and responses to consider in that example but you get the idea. I will stipulate that forgiveness is not to be mistaken with politeness. Politeness may clear a simple obstacle like bumping into someone, but forgiveness has the power to clear a blockage created from years of abuse, and give you the courage to move forward in life and leave the abuser behind. Forgiveness can be used in multiple situations and is invaluable to healing trauma and clearing blockages created by ourselves, or others.
I realize I am ending this blog on forgiveness like I did last week's blog. But that just goes to show how important forgiveness is! What blockages are causing resistance in your life? For me, it turns out I had writers block and cleared it in the most unexpected way.
P.S. I now know the true meaning of writers block!
You can contact me by email at cathyrosehealing@gmail.com or visit my Facebook page www.facebook.com/cathyrosehealing or my website www.cathyrosehealing.wixsite.com/home
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